Taking the Plunge

Romance...

Why is it that every time you go out with someone you really like to watch a movie, you always end up seeing a movie with the rough caliber of Jeepers Creepers 2, Gigli and From Justin to Kelly? I’ve never understood it, but every movie I have ever watched with a potential romantic interest has ended up being a violent snore-fest. Either that or it made me want to shoot myself in the eye. And the whole time while you’re watching the movie, the only thing you can concentrate on is your physical proximity to your very sexy, warm and snuggly partner.

It’s a pity that so many movies, TV shows and even commercials make fun of the cliched yawn, stretch your arm, and put your arm around your partner routine. I was watching Get Smart the other night with a girl I liked, and if it wouldn’t have been so cookie-cutter to put my arm around her, I would have. Instead, I spent the majority of the movie struggling to get closer to her. Every inch I made towards her seat seemed to take an eternity. After the first fourth of the movie was over, our arms were finally in contact. At last. The next excruciating three fourths of the movie was spent over-analyzing her every movement, from the way she crossed her legs, to her giggles and leans, to the way she positioned her arms around her body. I think I was about to have a hernia. My blood pressure was doubling every half hour from the effort involved with analyzing, leaning, sighing, touching, and laughing at the appropriate times to achieve maximum closeness.

It’s painful when you’re unsure if your advances will be rejected, and when you fear rejection so deeply. It’s harder yet when you know that her reaction will probably either make or break your night out. After about an hour and a half of painful deliberating (and ignoring the awful movie), I finally decided to take a deep breath and just rest my head upon her shoulder lightly. I leaned back in my seat, snuggled up a bit closer, and quickly lay my head down into the side of her neck before I could think any more about it. To my surprise and delight, she actually leaned back into me, sighing happily. The relief! I was able to spend the rest of the movie finally at peace. Somehow the characters seemed funnier. The whole movie seemed brighter, and more romantic. She laughed more. I laughed more. The truth is, the movie wasn’t any funnier that it was before.

I felt the back of the seat digging into my side, but it didn’t matter. I liked being close to her. And she liked being close to me. And that was all I needed. Sometimes, a movie at a theater is only as good as her hand in yours, her whispers in your ear, or her head on your shoulder. We spent the rest of the night walking about town, holding hands, holding each other, and smiling inside and out. I held her in my arms as we waited for her bus to arrive. I kissed her softly goodbye. I felt butterflies. The bus left. She called me. More butterflies.

It’s amazing how much you can be rewarded once you let your guard down and put your pride to rest. There’s always the chance of being shot down, of being rejected, or of finding that your love is unrequited. But there’s also that chance that you’ll feel her hand in yours, that you’ll feel her light kiss on your lips, and that you’ll have one of the happiest nights of your life.

Those who risk nothing, gain nothing. Those who risk it all, have the opportunity to gain more than they could have ever imagined. And that, I think, is a risk worth taking.

 

What I Have Learned from Past Relationships

1. Always treat a girl right, respect her as a person, and don’t be mean, because one day it could be over and you want to be remembered well. RESPECT, RESPECT, RESPECT.
2. Always call just to say hello when you feel the urge. Don’t hold back on doing sweet things. One day you might regret not having done that enough while you still had it.
3. Don’t ever completely burn any bridges.
4. Always treat a girl like royalty; never hurt her feelings or make her feel like less than you on purpose. It’s not worth it.
5. If you want to say something but you aren’t sure about it, wait an hour or a day and see if you still want to say it. If you do, say it.
6. It’s all about the little things. Build beautiful memories.
7. You can’t change the past, so don’t try and change it. Be thankful for every break in your heart and learn something from it for the future.
8. ALWAYS be cordial. Don’t disrespect yourself and others by being a jerk.
9. Don’t make fun of her unless it’s just something silly.
10. Try not to look back, or you won’t be able to move forward. Let go and live your life.
11. The love you withhold will be the pain you feel.
12. When you find something good, take what you have and run with it, cause it might be the best thing you’ve ever had.

 

How to Tell if He (or She) is Just Not That Into You

Something I’ve written based on my experience as a girl who is just not that into (you).

She waits 2-6 hours to return your calls or texts. (If she were really that into you, trust me, she’d be returning your calls/texts within the hour, at LEAST. Unless she’s got a truly viable excuse that she doesn’t use all the time. i.e. My mother called me crying, and we talked for two hours, so I wasn’t able to get back to you.)

You are always the one initiating texts and/or calls. If she were into you, she would be calling and texting you at least half the time (give or take a few). If you feel like you’re constantly the one chasing her, you ARE. You know why? She’s just not that into you. If she were really into you, you’d be on her mind all the time, too. And she’d make a conscious effort to make you somewhat of a priority. Even IF she does text/call you back 2-6 hours later with an incredibly sweet text, DO NOT BE DECEIVED. It is overcompensation. People who are interested in you WILL text you back somewhat promptly, because they are excited to hear from you/communicate with you! If there is always a consistent delay, you have a problem.

She constantly makes excuses about why she didn’t call you/text you/return your texts/have time to hang out with you. When this starts happening consistently, trust me, it’s over (or nearly over.) You’re about to get dumped, baby. If she were into you, she wouldn’t be putting off texting you or calling you. She’d WANT to hear your voice.

If you have to text her 3 times to get back 1 text, think hard about if she’s really into you. Unless she has a TRULY busy schedule that makes it impossible for her to get back to you. If she were into you, she’d make the effort, even if it was difficult.

When you try to plan things in the future with her, she changes the subject, starts cracking jokes, or does not offer definitive answers. That’s a HUGE sign that she doesn’t really see a future with you, or is considering breaking up with you.

You always have to say “I love you” first. This one is debatable since it depends on certain factors (like her expressiveness, your expressiveness, etc., but it is an important consideration.)

She makes a major change in her appearance. (Moving on to better pastures, maybe?) Major changes in appearance reflect changes in heart in some way, shape or form.

She seems like she’s always in a hurry to get off the phone with you. (This one is pretty self-explanatory. If she liked you, she would make time for you – even if it meant diminished study time, or less sleep.)

Diminished interest in sex. (Diminished interest in sex could mean diminished interest in you, or a relationship with you. No one wants to have wild, passionate sex with someone they want to break up with. There is some leeway with this one, however, because it could also just mean high stress, low sex drive/other health factors/religious factors.)

You feel like you’re putting forth way too much effort. (You are. Your instincts are good indicators.)

She belittles your problems/seems disinterested in your life. (This one should be pretty blatant.)

The biggest indicator, I believe, is the making of EXCUSES. Excuses about why she didn’t call, why she can’t hang out with you, or why she’s been “distant” lately. People only make excuses about things they DON’T want to do. It’s a defense mechanism. Unless those excuses are rare, and well padded with ways she’ll make it up to you/scheduled rain-checks, and an actual sense of embarrassment about letting you down, they indicate loss of interest. If you’re getting EXCUSES more than half the time, chances are, she’s going to be EXCUSING YOU out of her life…soon!

The best course of action if your relationship is rampant with these indicators is: Back off (stop calling/texting all the time), get a life (meaning become very active in your own life and with your own friends), and consider moving on to someone new.