LOVEinSANFRANCISCO

It’s 5:30AM, and I’m incredibly sleepy. I’m awake for no reason in particular – other than the fact that I’m enjoying my holiday by doing something that you definitely can’t do when you’re on your regular 8-5 work schedule. I’m staying up and writing a WordPress entry.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for about three months now. Not very long, but it certainly feels like we’ve been dating for longer.  I’ve never been so happy in such a mature, adult way. I suppose my past relationships have prepared me for this point in my life, where I can love someone in a way that isn’t immature, and feels positively amazing.

Sometimes I wonder if she’ll be mine forever. At this point, I love her so much that I can’t imagine anything else. She’s gorgeous…everything about her takes my breath away. She’s thoughtful, she’s playful, she’s passionate, she’s driven, she’s intelligent and she makes my heart melt. I admire her, respect her and adore her all at the same time. Just hearing her voice makes me giddy. I love her for all her thoughts, her love for her friends, the way she loves to cook, the way she hates having too many “things,” the way she loves travel, how she is always trying to practice Spanish, and for how much she loves her father.

Sometimes, when I look at her, I think to myself about how lucky I am that she’s mine. Sometimes she looks so beautiful and radiant from across a room that it feels almost unreal that I’m the girl she thinks about at night. I will never forget taking her to the airport at 4 in the morning, and snuggling with her in the car in the parking lot. I’ll never forget walking her through the airport and having breakfast with her in the terminal. Kissing her goodbye. She’s mine…all mine, and I couldn’t be more proud to say that she’s my girl.

The other day, I sat next to her as she played peek-a-boo with a little girl sitting at a table across from us. She looked so happy, so silly, and at the same time, so  beautiful. I don’t know why, but I fell completely in love with her after seeing her play with the little girl. I couldn’t stop laughing – not because the situation was funny, but because of how happy seeing her like that made me feel. I thought of her as a mother, and I thought of being there with her through that. She would be the most amazing mother in the world. I wouldn’t mind having kids if I got to see her so happy every day. God she melts my heart…

Come on get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire in the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love…

She is amazing. Every day I spend with her makes me fall harder and harder for her. Every little thing I learn about her as the days pass makes me respect and love her more. I feel so safe and warm whenever I am with her, and I feel absolutely happy and content in all our time together – regardless of what we’re doing.

At this point, I’ve let go of all bungee lines and torn apart all safety nets, and I am happier than ever. Just holding her hand makes me feel like the happiest woman alive. Sitting in the car with her, holding hands even while she dozes off as I drive is the best feeling in the world. I don’t think she knows it, but as we talk in the car, butterflies are rushing up and down my body, and my heart feels weak and proud because I know that she’s mine. I don’t think she knows, but when we are together, sometimes I feel so much love for her that it’s hard to contain it.

I remember holding her in my arms as we woke up this morning. I remembered that it was the morning of the one month mark of when we decided to become exclusive. I remember kissing her, pulling her close, seeing her smile and kiss me, and feeling overwhelmed with a hurricane of dizzying emotions. We lay there, snuggled close, and she reached up to stretch, smiling happily. She was the cutest thing in the world.

One of my favorite memories: Cuddling in bed, with her arms around me, holding me close. Listening to “The Nearness of You” by Norah Jones…feeling every word. Feeling her squeeze and kiss me gently at the end of the song. Feeling safe, feeling warm…smiling…falling asleep.

It’s probably too soon to feel this way.

All I know is that I can’t wait for the day when I’ll tell her that I’m falling for her….

(…that I love her?)