I broke up with my ex-girlfriend about a month ago. Since then, she has not stopped contacting me. Little texts throughout the week, asking about how I’m doing, or informing of the random things she’s been doing flood my phone sporadically.
I knew she wasn’t the one for me about a few months before I broke up with her. Something just wasn’t cutting it. We couldn’t really connect on an intellectual level, and our lives seemed to be on completely different pages. Not just different pages – sometimes, it seemed like we were in different books. I knew it wouldn’t last. I knew I had to put an end to the relationship before it got too far…before we were in too deep, so deep, that there was no way out.
Since the break-up, I’ve been lonely. I’ve been lonely, but I know that I’ve done the right thing. I am completely available and open to the woman of my dreams, should she come along some day. Then there are those moments of weakness. Those moments where a sweet text from a past love will show up in your phone, and where you’ll feel like you want the familiar comfort of a loving friend. It’s hard to stay lonely to keep yourself open to new love when your past love keeps knocking at the door, telling you that she’ll comfort you – no questions asked, with arms wide open.
I’m going to stay strong. I’m going to wait for what I’ve always wanted. I’m not going to settle.
“Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.” – Carrie, Sex and the City.
July 5, 2008 at 10:11 am
me as well, i plan to stay single as long as i can.
July 5, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Great quote. I love the butterflies.
July 5, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Dear writer,
My boyfriend broke up with me a while ago and i did the same as this girl, i fell so deep for him and thought he had felt the same for me but had just fell in a lie. So this, i’ve learned from experience. She still has strong feelings for you but she will get over you :) incase you were wondering why she is sending you thoose text’s. Almost all girls do that after a hard break up, its natural.
July 5, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Ugh, this is happening to a dear friend of mine – sometimes people like to know that, if nothing else, they still have their claws in you and they can still make you feel something even if it’s bad.
Definitely not something to feed into – I like your conviction = )
July 6, 2008 at 10:17 am
i think we all experience something similar to this, at one point or another. it’s important to maintain your sense of self and see clearly. it sounds like you are doing just that — i’m impressed!
i so love your blog.
July 6, 2008 at 8:12 pm
You’re right — you shouldn’t settle for anything less than you want. And I think it’s awesome that you aren’t giving in to your ex’s texts simply because you’re lonely.
July 6, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Jennifer: I think that’s a great way to go about it. But don’t run away should you run into the man (or woman) you’ve been waiting for!
July 7, 2008 at 12:00 am
Withserendipity:
Thanks, I love the quote too. Not to mention the show.
July 7, 2008 at 12:03 am
Dear Alyssa:
Thanks, I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
I still love her, but just not in the way that you would have to love a significant other to stay with them. It’s hard to balance loving her, and yet not wanting to be with her anymore at the same time. But I’ll stick with it, since in the end I know it will be better for the both of us. And thanks for your input!
July 7, 2008 at 12:05 am
Kyla Bea:
You hit it right on the head. She loves to send me messages that make me feel sad for what we used to have. Which is upsetting, because I’m trying to protect her feelings, while she’s pretty much doing the opposite with me. But I’ll stick with it!
Thanks for the encouragement! :)
July 7, 2008 at 12:08 am
The almost right word:
Thanks for the advice, and I’m trying!
I’m so glad you like the blog. It always feels great to hear that people are enjoying what I write. :)
July 7, 2008 at 12:09 am
Stylishhandwriting:
Thanks so much!